Matchmakers in Pittsburgh Review How to Stop Being So Needy

Does your boyfriend think you’re needy and insecure?  If so, use these 7 helpful tips from Pittsburgh matchmakers at Pittsburgh Singles Dating Service to put an end to your clingy and insecure days and improve your relationship with your boyfriend.

Isn’t it perfect to be in love?  You’re always going to have a partner by your side, someone to share the good times and bad with.  He is someone who will listen to you, have fun with you, and give you advice and support you when you’re having bad days.  He can help you do chores, call and text you throughout the day, and even surprise you with gifts.  Doesn’t love sound perfect?

Looking at your relationship from the inside, it might look great to you, but if you are looking at it from the outside, without those rose-tinted glasses, what would you see?  Do you see a woman who is always going after her boyfriend for help?  Do you see a woman who is constantly texting her boyfriend (even though you know he’s busy)?  Do you see a woman who is constantly looking for affection?  If those statements describe you to a T, then you might be too needy and clingy in your relationship.  Give yourself some time and try to see if you might be smothering him.  If you are, you could be destroying you relationship without even realizing it.


How to Stop Being Needy in Your Relationship

Do you think you have become needy?  Well, don’t panic.  There are many ways you can control this behavior so your partner doesn’t walk away from the relationship.  You just need to be able to let go of those behaviors and give him plenty of space.  Try the following tips from Pittsburgh dating and relationship experts at Pittsburgh Singles.

1. Don’t Try to Bargain for His Time

Keeping track of how much time the two of you spend together isn’t healthy.  Don’t try to tell him that because he’s going out to the bar on Fridays he needs to spend Saturday and Sunday with you.  He shouldn’t have to pay or make up for doing what the wants to do with people other than you.  If this behavior of yours keeps up, he might be tempted to do it behind your back because he doesn’t want you to make a big fuss about it or have him feeling guilty.  Your behavior can lead to him lying to your or walking out of the relationship completely.  Pittsburgh matchmakers want you to remember that at the end of the day, it’s quality time that matters, not the amount.

2. Get Hobbies that Will Improve Your Self-esteem

There are many hobbies you can choose that will greatly improve your self-esteem.  Do you like working with your hands? Then, there are many projects you can do.  Do you have an ear for music?  Then, maybe enroll in some music lessons.  Want to get in shape?  Then, enroll in a gym membership.  Not only will taking up projects and activities help you boost your self-esteem, but it will also keep occupied so you’re not always trying to spend time with your boyfriend.

3. Make Communication Even

Have a look at how many text messages or phone calls you send to your boyfriend on the regular?  Is it way more than what he sends to you?  If so, a great way to stop bombarding your boyfriend with messages is to keep things equal.  For instance, when you send him a text, it might be tempting to send a follow up if he doesn’t respond right away, but what you need to do is skip the follow up text message and let it go.  Ask about his day and let him reply to you.  In the meantime, while you wait, go do something like hanging out with your own friends or family or start putting time into that hobby/activity you just picked up.  You never want to sit around with your phone in your hand waiting for him to respond.

4. Don’t Let Jealousy Dictate Your Relationship

The thing about jealousy is that it can create a vicious cycle in any relationship.  You can start off feeling needy, then it will lead to taking all your boyfriend’s free time to ensure he’s not doing anything without you.  If you are always feeling jealous when you partner is not with you, Pittsburgh matchmakers warn that bombarding him with calls and text isn’t going to help.  Instead, why don’t you try having some faith in him and your relationship?  Calm down and be rational.  If he’s not known for having a wandering eye or he’s just at the office doing some extra work for an upcoming deadline, try your best to believe him when he says what he’s doing.  A little trust will go a long way in your relationship.

5. Be Realistic with Your Expectations

Your partner is not perfect and he might not always be able to be there with you.  It helps to understand that he also has his own life, family, friends, and coworkers to hang out with and not to mention, a job to excel at.  When he isn’t available to hang out with you or talk on the phone, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, it’s just that he’s busy.  It means he has other priorities.  Even if he has always been there for you in the past, he might have realized that he needs to become a little more independent and do his own things, and this is a clue you should be doing the same.

6. Respect Each Other’s Space

When he asks for some alone time, Pittsburgh matchmakers encourage you to give it to him.  Everyone needs some quiet time just for themselves.  Don’t think for any reason that just because he’s asking you for some alone time that he is pushing you away or he wants to be with someone else.  He might simply want some time to himself because he feels smothered by you.  Remember that when you grant him this alone time, it’s going to help him feel recharged.  Maybe this is also the perfect time for you to have some me time as well.


7. Something Could Be Missing

Sometimes, neediness can pop up when there is something missing.  For example, maybe you’re bored at your job and you’re looking for some fun.  But instead of going out there and searching for better job opportunities, you call up your boyfriend.  Of course since he can only provide you with so much, you keep wanting more and more.  If you keep doing this you’re eventually going to drain him and he’s going to leave you.  If your life isn’t fulfilling without him in it, then you’re not truly satisfied with yourself.  Pittsburgh matchmakers want you to take time to improve any areas of your life that you’re not satisfied with.  This will help you not only in your relationship, but in happiness overall.

Being needy and insecure is a horrible cycle to be in.  The next time you’re feeling insecure, use these helpful tips from Pittsburgh matchmakers to talk about it with your man and finally put an end to your neediness.

For more dating and relationship advice from the experts, stay connected with Pittsburgh Singles Dating Service on Facebook & Twitter!

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